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Mutable
“Sometimes I feel like ‘male’ is an island I’m clinging to after being lost at sea.” This is hard for me to write about. It has been a year since I started working in a place where everyone (who didn’t … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged body, cis, cis male, cis passing, cisgender, cisnormativity, doubt, gender, healing, male, man, misgendering, non-binary, pain, passing, perception, pronouns, safety, testosterone, trans*, transgender, transition, uncertainty, wholeness
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A Vignette: Misgendering in Exchange for Queer Visibility
Scene: Me, buying lunch. As I struggle to pull my card out of my wallet (it’s kind of jammed in there), I am aware of the cashier watching my face in a subtle, yet noticeable way. I glance up and … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged cisnormativity, gender, heteronormativity, misgendering, perception, pronouns, queer, queer visibility, trans*, transgender, visbility
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A Transgender Reflection on the 2014 Annual Sessions of the New England Yearly Meeting of Friends (Quakers)
A note for NEYM folks before you read: This reflection contains criticism of some aspects of Sessions, and I want to make it clear that this is not meant to be a passive aggressive critique, nor is it directed at … Continue reading
Reflections on the Philadelphia Trans-Health Conference, 2014
This past week I attended the first two days of the three-day Philadelphia Trans-Health Conference (PTHC). What an incredible experience. PTHC is an annual, completely free conference for trans* folks, allies, and healthcare providers. There are tons of tables for various … Continue reading
Perception Anxiety
I often worry that others’ perception of my gender is like that of a computer monitor that has been left on the same screen for too long without a screen saver. When this happens, the screen that has been left … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged being out, gender norms, gender policing, gender roles, misgendering, out, perception, perceptions, pronouns, queer, trans*, transgender
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On Being ‘Other’
I grew up in quite liberal, accepting environments. At one of the schools I went to for many years, the gay kids were the cool kids, not the outcasts. I later went to a women’s college, where there was a … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged assumptions, gay, gender, identity, LGBTQ, misgendering, pronouns, queer, respect, support, trans*, trans* ally, transgender
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Optical Gender Illusions: How to Truly See Your Trans* Friend’s Gender
I have entered an ambiguous time in my transition. Like the color of the tiles in the checker shadow illusion, how my gender is perceived is often entirely context dependent. In the checker shadow illusion, shown above, the tiles labeled … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged gender, illusion, misgendering, optical illusions, perception, pronouns, tips, trans*, transgender, transition
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How to Respect and Support A Transgender Person
Wikihow has some good guidelines on this topic, but I wanted to provide something a little more thorough. These are suggestions based on my own experiences, as well as a lot of reading I’ve done of others’ experiences. If you … Continue reading
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged gender, gender identity, how to, identity, pronouns, respect, support, tips, trans*, trans* ally, trans* people, transgender, transition
1 Comment
1 – If you are not sure of someone’s preferred pronouns, start by avoiding using any to refer to that person. If you have friends or colleagues in common, try asking one of those people if they know what pronouns … Continue reading
It Doesn't Have to Be This Way 